


Male Maternity

by Sheogorath



Category: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Genre: M/M, Magic, Oviposition, Slash, crackfic, preg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 14:15:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheogorath/pseuds/Sheogorath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Raminus Polus hatches a plan to cure his mate's hypomania, no one at the Arcane University  is the least bit prepared for the consequences!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Male Maternity

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure why I wrote this fic. Maybe just to see if Male Maternity Sans Mpreg™ is always funnier than mpreg.  
> Oh, in case anyone asks, all the Argonian Sheogoraths I write about are identical, and "Humans, Super Mutants, and Ghouls. Nom, nom!" is a reference to both 'Fallout: New Vegas' and MGM's version of 'The Wizard of Oz'.

# Male Maternity.

Raminus Polus wearily sat in bed in the Mages Quarters and thought about his current difficulty. He was mated to the Arch-Mage, who was also the Daedric Prince of Madness, and this status was exactly where the problem lay. The Master-Wizard was exhausted because earlier that week, just before the start of the Argonian mating season, his vampiric superior had eaten the last piece of cheese in the Arcane University, then immediately demanded more, threatening to pull out mages' innards and skip rope with them if He didn't get any within five minutes. Because the Imperial City had already been emptied in order to cater to the Madgod's tastes, Raminus had had to use up his magicka in travelling to Skingrad through time as well as space, a heretofore unheard of feat.

It had been only a few days before that that Sheogorath had marched around the campus while loudly declaiming, "Humans, Super Mutants, and Ghouls. Nom, nom!" then bursting into fits of laughter. Nor was He able to explain either what He meant or what He was laughing about, leaving His deputy puzzled and upset.

After recalling these events, the Imperial turned to his hypomanic mate, who was sleeping soundly, and gently kissed His forehead before freezing as a sudden memory came to him. When he had been an apprentice mage a few years before, not long after the previous Arch-Mage, Hannibal Traven, had first banned the practice of necromancy, a promising young Journeyman had resurrected the corpses of a sheep and a hound, frantically muttering about the imminent return of the King of Worms. Arch-Mage Traven had declared the lad to be insane, and ordered that the would-be necromancer be kept in restraints until such time as he recovered. After a few months, the mage's wife had given birth to their son, and the young man's recovery had been almost immediate after first seeing his child. He now eschewed merely _summoning_ undead beings, and although his advancement in the guild had since been much slower than average, he _was_ advancing, having successfully reached the status of Warlock some months before despite the Rockjoint related deaths of both his wife and child the previous year.

With this recollection fresh in his mind, Raminus slipped out of bed and silently crossed the basement to where Tar-Meena, Keeper of the Mystic Archives, was deeply immersed in dreams.

"Tar-Meena. Tar-Meena!"

Grumbling slightly, the female Argonian groggily sat up, her nictitating membranes almost fluttering as she fought to keep her eyes open.

"What do you need, hatchling?" she enquired, the rasp of her voice putting Raminus in mind of a heavy user of smokeweed, as it always did.

"I have a favour to ask of you for my mate."

"No," came the immediate response. Only the previous day, the Lord of the Never There had insisted on eating His daily meal of food in the stacks, and Tar-Meena's duties had been added to with the clean up of several delicate tomes and scrolls.

"Please, Tar-Meena. It's possible that with your help, I might be able to cure Sheogorath."

"Cure Him, you say? All right, what books do you need?"

"Actually, I don't need books, I need your body."

The female Argonian made a short series of sneezing noises.

"I didn't mean in that sense, I only thought that if Sheogorath were to have hatchlings, then He might get better just as Ancotar did. With being what you are, you're perfectly suited to bearing His eggs. I'm unable to since I'm neither female nor an Argonian."

"I see, hatchling. You wish me to bear the Madgod's hatchlings, then? But how can that be when _you_ are His chosen mate?"

"Just a few minutes ago, the Madgod and I mated for the final time before our day's sleep. If I magically transfer His seed from my body to yours, then conception should be achievable."

"Very well, hatchling, I will do it. I have always wished to become a mother."

"Well, we can begin right away if you like."

Tar-Meena gave a simple nod of acquiescence, heard the Master-Wizard mutter a strange spell that she was able to recognise only as being from the Mysticism school, then gave a gasp as, for the first time in her life, she felt her sperm sacs frantically drawing up the pool of heat that suddenly bloomed deep within her.

"I take it that my plan is working?"

"So far. Tell me, how often will I have to do this?"

"Only until your sperm sacs are full or conception occurs, whichever comes first."

Tar-Meena gave another nod, yawned widely, then went back to bed. For the rest of the night, she dreamed of a Sheogorath who did not demand things that didn't exist as tributes, nor expected others to pull off impossible feats to fulfil his every whim.

✱   ✱   ✱

It was the beginning of winter, and Tar-Meena was ready to lay her eggs. Ever since she had finally conceived them a fortnight after the end of the mating season, her belly had gradually burgeoned until the skin on it threatened to split, and although she would have preferred to keep them inside her, giving birth to live young in the spring, she recognised that this was not going to be feasible. Thus it was that she lay straining and gasping in pain, the last egg slipping from her cloaca several hours after her clutching had first begun.

✱   ✱   ✱

"Master-Wizard."

Raminus Polus turned, then smiled gently as he saw who had called him and what was within the basket she held.

"I see that you've clutched. How long will it be until the eggs hatch?"

"A few months, hatchling. They're due to hatch in the spring, it's too cold for them right now."

Tar-Meena left through the portal to the Lobby of the Arch-Mage's Tower just as the Prince of Madness entered the Council Chambers from the other portal, sniffing the air as He materialised.

"Stop her! STOP HER! She's got our clutch!" He shouted, making Raminus very confused.

"We don't _have_ a clutch, Arch-Mage," he stated bluntly.

Sheogorath shot the Imperial a pained look of betrayal, then entered the portal opposite of the one He had entered by and gradually disappeared. He came back after a few minutes, holding the basket of Argonian eggs, then left again through the portal He had originally come by. Another couple of minutes later, the Keeper of the Mystic Archives arrived back in the room, clearly bereft.

"Where's Arch-Mage Sheogorath? He's taken my clutch!"

Together, Raminus and Tar-Meena entered the portal to the Arch-Mage's Quarters, immediately confronting the Madgod when they arrived.

"Give Tar-Meena's clutch back to her, now!"

" _Our_ clutch, Raminus."

" _Please_ return my young to me, Arch-Mage."

"It's not your clutch, Raminus laid it."

Because of this statement, the Master-Wizard was instantly able to recognise the nature of the situation.

"I am sorry, Tar-Meena," he quietly said. "It seems that Sheogorath's parenting instinct has awoken and His mating instinct is interfering with it, making Him misidentify the mother of your clutch. You will have to give it up, unfortunately."

The female Argonian nodded and left, her face streaked with tears.

Over the next few months, the Lord of the Never There looked after His unhatched offspring with assiduous care, even putting Tar-Meena under threat on those few occasions when she tried to reclaim her clutch, forcing Raminus to get between the two of them in order to protect her.

✱   ✱   ✱

Once the eggs had hatched in the middle of First Seed, the Keeper of the Mystic Archives felt nothing but pain and desolation as she was forced to look on while Sheogorath and His mate gave her hatchlings their first meal of small pieces of meat and fish. Her heart ached with love for her offspring and a mother's instinct to look after them, and the fact that Raminus Polus' plan had obviously not worked only made things worse. The Lord of the Never There was just as mad as He had ever been, and it was clear that He was passing on His insanity to His young in a folie à famille. The thing which most broke Tar-Meena's heart, however, was when the nestlings' second word, 'mama', was not directed to her, but instead to Raminus, who at least had the grace to look faintly embarrassed whenever they called him that.

✱   ✱   ✱

Two weeks after the clutch had hatched, Raminus Polus walked into the Mages Quarters to speak to Tar-Meena, and found her packing everything she owned.

"Where are you going?"

"I've decided to leave so that I may clutch without my young being taken from me."

"Sheogorath and I are going, so you don't need to."

"Really?"

"Yes. I came to tell you that we plan to leave for His realm after the upcoming mating season. By not leaving until then, I can fill your sperm sacs, enabling you to have many clutches after we're gone."

Tar-Meena considered this pleasant-sounding proposal for some seconds, then asked, "But how will the guild manage without the Arch-Mage or His deputy?"

"That's also what I came to tell you. We've decided that you would be an excellent Arch-Mage, and it's up to you who is your deputy. Might I suggest Bothiel to take my place?"

With that, Raminus left his fellow Master-Wizard to contemplate this enticing prospect as he returned to his increasingly jealous and protective mate.

✱   ✱   ✱

As soon as the Argonian mating season finished at the end of Midyear, Raminus and Sheogorath packed all their possessions and teleported to the Shivering Isles with their five three-month-old nestlings, the Madgod not cognisant of the fact that He would never have any more. However, He and his mate successfully raised the ones they did have to a healthy adulthood, at which point they began to aid their father in leading mortals down the Golden Road. As for their 'mother', he was only too happy to scamper around New Sheoth Palace on all fours by this time, absolutely convinced that he was a Greater Skinned Hound bitch.

**Author's Note:**

> Copyright © 2013 Romersa's Protégé. Individuals and groups are free to copy and share this work for all purposes except large scale distribution, subject to credit being given and any derivatives being released under the same or a similar licence. All other rights reserved. Produced with permission from Bethesda Softworks.


End file.
